IF I WERE A BOY~

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
Because they'd stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think that I could understand
how it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
cause I know how it hurts
when you loose the one you wanted
cause he's taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed!
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that its broken
so they think
that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first
and make the rules as I go
cause I know that she'll be faithful
waiting for me to come home ( to come home)
If I were a boy
I think that I could understand
how it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
when you loose the one you wanted
cause he's taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed!
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But your just a boy
You don't understand (and you don't understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you'll wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you taken her for granted
And everything that you had got destroyed
But your just a boy

nw or never?

a million words would not bring you back,,
i know because i've tried.
neither a million tears,,
i know because i've cried.
when i look at you, my heart skips a beat...
but later that beat could mean a life time of tears,,
wasted on something i know i could never have.

EU r just a FRIEND~

forget the times eu walked by,,
forget the times eu've made me cry,,
forget the times eu held my hand.
forget the sweet things if i can.
i can no longer pretend, i have to remember nw that,,
"eu r just a friend".

Thinkin back in time. No pain, but gain. =)

hwaa, afta ol thngs happnd, my mind get mor opened up! =D
evrythg wil b okokokok!^^ evnthou somtimes wen i recalled, it'll b some hurt der,,
but its OK! IM OK! hehe..
guys out der! for dos who knws me o not,, eu guys knw wat? wen 25oct08 11pm, i celebrated my bdae at peak which shud b 24oct, but i got some stuffs to do, so i post poned it.
n "he" came to my party,, i dono dat i shud b happy or sad. but im quite happy, bcos my cousin surprise me der, n d band der sang a bdae song for me, my besties comin up one by one n gimme a kiss*[on chic k,, =p].. im so surprise n happy..
but he stay outside of d peak n don wana came in, n i dono why. finally he came in, but i knw dats my senior who persuaded him to came in. n we even talked oni twice fo d whole nyt wif a small matters.
at almost 1 in d midnyt, he's goin home. n he txtd me, i tot dat we wud b some chance mor to reconciled.
but too bad, d noon of d nxt day, he came to my house.. n make evrythg clear,,
lyk wat i wrote on d previous page. n we do as a couple for d last day.
but i told him, not to tell his cousin[gurl] about us, cos me n his cousin r in d same school n class. im afraid dat d rumors wud b spread widely asap. so jus let evrythg flow..
one dae, dey'll smell something fishy n find out by themselves.
n i asked him, wen wil he go bck to sg fo courses? den he said monday.
but on monday, wen i was at my recess time, i went to canteen n havin breakfast..
suddenly i saw a guy wif a casual attire appeared at our canteen!!! SHOCKING!! XO
my first reaction was cough! n almost vomit out my food infront of my frens, n runaway frm my seat,,
but some words came across my mind, why shud i avoid him? useless me!
so i pretend to buy a tissue frm a booths der at canteen n went back to my seat, stil i saw him der straight frm seat. but i tent to b ok. so i jus let it flow~ but stil d wounds, scars, hurts r here..
at class his cousin kip on askin me, wat hppnd to me n him, i rili dono wat to do, somehow i wished dat im jus awake frm my dream.
n kip on tellin my self we were off!! stop thinkin! stupid! damn! dumb! ukkh..
but i realized ders no turning back n u turn der.
so i'll take him as FREN rili, n hide evrythg at inside, n blogging to relief.
rili dono wat i supposed to do nw,, but i knw IT'LL ALL BETTA IN TIME! =) may god bless me.

Way to 17th~

hm,, g rs kykna jrg deh ad org yg bs brpnglman yg sm am g dlm hdup 17 taon ini..
too mch obstacles dat i nid to face,, its hard n tought but der's owaes a way to solved.
lyk a quote says "mistake for a reason", yeah dats it! XD
so ders owaes an answer for a question,, but i got a question dat nobodys cud answer me till nw,, "got egg first or chicken??". hwakakak,, wel, cut d crap.
my way to 17th is not ez, full of tears, scars, wounds, hurts, sadness, some of joy, n happiness, but finally i cud get thru of it. a day passed a day, i learnt so many thngs bout life.
till nw i stil learnin n evry minute every second, i learnt to b mature n undrstnding.
alots of probs hd hppnd on my past. friendship? loves? family? ap aj deh..
mslh dtg n prg n dtg lgi,, mncoba untk meninggalkan msa lalu, n move on.
smua ini emank nga sgmpg g mnulis d sne, tp klo kta nekat, why not?
hang at d past? wat for! lets move on.. afta i clbrated my 17th, i've setted my goal. shoppin, clubbin, hangin around,
r not nimore my purpose. wat im aimin nw is to finished my senior high school asap. n go to my college, n take my fav course "hospitality!" =D.
but way to dat is not ez as dat, huuuw! i hate it! emank seh slm ini g skola srink ga srius..
n byk bad records. tp i've came ova it. g ud tnglin smua ituuuw!
knpaa g msh mrasa dnia ini ga adil! nlai g bgs, nga klh yg lain.. mlhn lbh bgs,, knp top 10 slm sma ini g ga prnh dpt?
klrg g ga prnh mksa g hrs dpt juara, mrk hny hrpkan g bs tmtin sma n lls.
tp ttp aj g mrs ga adil, g rjin blj, g giat, ttp aj g d blkg mrk..
mrk dpt smua kddkan ituw hny dgn cr gmpg yaitu menyontek! glaa aj,,
bisa d bayangkan ga sih,, gmn kesal ny.. mlh kta yg rjin2 bljr d kraen nyontekk.. halah..
nga bwngt sih! huh,, tp mo gmn lg.. mrk tmn g, ad yg tmn dkt g lgi.. g ga bs nolak bgtu aj ktka d mnta ajr.. kdg g sndr aj blm slsi, br aj dpt krts ulgn, lgsg ud ad org yg nny g bs ga..
pd ngrti ga siiih! g br dpt soal, gmn pun y msti g analisis, g ngrtin, g krja dlo br tw dinQ,,
msa br aj g dpt soal ud lgsg d nny, mst sbuk pny mrk dlo lg, br bs krj pny kta,, sial2 ny ntr ga kburu syp, tgl ngu d ngoceh gru deh.. haihs..
tp smua ini g ud put down deh, ini faith g, heaven's will,, as long as lord knws who r wrong, who r ryt..
g pasrah aj, jlnin smua ny dgn ap ad ny.. don take a prob as prob.. den eu'll live wif relief.
after all, it'll all b betta in time! =D

finally, d puzzle is been resolved =)

hmm, finally me n him has made a rite decision fo us. but i actually im quite regret wif dos thgs happnd..
its rili rili rili jus a small probs!! but den cos dis kinda huge impact,, seemingly he rili mind!!! dat i didnt luk fo hiiiiiiiiim! huaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ but wat can i do, we r nw at wit's end.. d thgs dat rili agitate my heart was his friends told him dat why his gf nv luk up for himm.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..
i wana luk fo hm!! but sometimes i often luk fo him, he'll said dat he's load is limited, n cant kip on cntct, den nw he mind dat i didnt luk fo him.............................. wat shud i do?!?!?! i knw i hurt him mch! like wat happnd last time, i asked fo breakin up jus bcos of he kip on gamin at izone,, huhu..
n nw he asked fo break bcos of dos 2weeks! but im rili sory n so sory.. i do rili don knw dat i cud b dat big impact to eu, i hurted eu.. but im hurted too,, its not ez fo me to loose eu,, but i'll try my best to do it..
but hwever i rili feel its too wasted!! jus cos of dos 2weekssssssssss!! aaaaaaaaarggggghhhhhh!!
i fake my smile infront of anyone,, my senior told me dat she knws dat i fake my smile, n told me to cry it out if im sad n cudnt take it.. don fool myself..
but i jus cant do it, i cried enuf, i don wana drop any tears nimor..
frankly speakin, im oso hurted rili rili hurted.. to forget sum1 who eu adore mch, who wud accpt eu evnthou ders sum1 else in eur heart is not ez... furthermore we r stil adorin each otha.. evnthou no mor love dat like b4..
but anw, i wish he cud b happy owaes! sory to hurt eu..

my very "bitter" 17th. 24-10-08

ppl says dat 17th as sweet 17th, same as wat i expected to hvin my "sweet" 17th. but outta my expectation, all of dis hs bcame a nitemare fo me. i clbrate it thru my tears fo d whole day.
1st is my mum told me to hv a nc talk wif my dad, so dat our relationship cud back to b4, n i share so many thngs dat i've been hide fo dis fw yrs to my mum, n finally we r now bcame mor wisely to each otha. [so touched! =D]
2nd is, ive been 2weeks didnt contct wif my bf. probs starts frm here, on oct 13th he txtd me about 12++ midnite, n he told me dat he gona sleep nw n etc. at dat time i was in peak to clubbin, so wen i read d message d first thng came into my mind was ignore dat message, because i thnk ders no use fo me to rply since he gona sleep directly. n den for d nxt day he didnt luk fo me animor, n i dono wat hppnd to hm, i try to txt hm, but he treat me like a cold blooded person, so i get off of it. till d day which is my bdae, he surprise me, he came back here to btm frm sg, he brought me my fav banana's cake, a pair of sandal dat he eva told me he saw a quite nc sandal n wana buy fo me but dono wats my size, n he did. he bought it for me. but wen i saw him, i dono wat my feel is, shud i b happy? or sad? coz i feel somthing wrong btwn us, he's not nimor d guy dat wud b my old fashion apeQk, he bcame a stranger dat i dono hw to face hm. til nxt dae, i founded d answer, d worst thng eva he told me dat he don love me like yesterday..... oni a day past frm my bdae, he told me dat. n oni fo 2 weeks we didnt contct, d distance frm d last time he told me dat he's stil lovin me not evn a month yet. d first thng came to my mind was, probably our a year n 28 days relationship cant evn afford 2 weeks exam. n i realize hw weak our relationship is. but i knw, im d one to blame, i failed to convince her mum, n im d type of perfunctory person, ders sum1 else in my heart n he knw dat, i dono him well, i dono dat he rili mind wen i ignore him n didnt luk fo him. quite confusin, shud i loose my hand? or fight fo it because he told me dat he stil adore me? but infact i feel he's guilty rather den sayin he stil adore me. i asked him, if he wana break up or not? but he didnt reply me... so our status nw its been hang up n ill defined. i cried fo my whole 17th i hate dat i hd destroyed on his hand but den he jus told me dat he's bad! , but thnk it ova n ova again, i thnk ders no more use fo me to drop tears, evn thou i cry til running out of tears, thngs wont back to d day we kip on laught, teasin each otha, tickle each otha, trick each otha, hug wif warms, spend times wif no bored, worry fo each otha. try to move on, n life must goes on, nthg can b force, especially "love".
im here to bless eu, hving a great life, cant b couple, stil can b fren. XD wish dat eur life at sg, aussie wud b smoothly n don smoke too mch, bad fo eur health huh! [ud btuk molo!], n eeQ ny yg lncar2x y.. kwkwk, last but not least don b guilty!! jgn mrsa brslh! ok? =)
some messages fo eu, eu jus nid to follow dese steps, den don nid to feel guilty nimor k? XD

"don b too gud i wil miss eu
don b too carin i might like eu
don b to sweet i might fall for eu
its hard for me to love eu when eu wont love me after all"

my finally new blog =P

hwaa, finally i've created a new blog..
before, i got my ex-blog[=p] der at fs, but i jus feel unconvenient to write my heart out at der,,
cos fo sure all of my frens wud view it, i wil shy shy if dey knw it.. XD wkwkwk..
well, here i am to share my sadness, my joy, my personality dat hv been hide fo dis fw years..
i am a gurl who was born in a broken family, but my dad is quite wealthy,, wkwkw..
cut d crap, im d youngest n hvin a big brotha..
my mum n dad were quarelling since i was a very small child. n dey owaes solving probs wif "money"!
hate it n hate it, my dad quite quarellsome person, but my relationship wif him was great dat time!
he adore me alot, i got evrythg dat i want. i change my hp as my wish, i shopp til i drop. den later on when i drop, he'll transfer me money n lemme shop again. but til i was on my junior high school 2, we hd a big quarell n it cos us didnt talk fo almost 3 yrs nw.
since dos probs hppnd, all of my stuffs were stuck, money, freedom, car n etc.
finally wen i was on my junior high school 3 my dad n mum were reconciled, n d missin puzzle of my family was founded. but stil me n my dad's relationship remains worst til nw.
sometimes, wen i recall my childhood life, my tears cudnt stop to drop.. but wat can i do?
my dad n i hvin d same attitude, "high prestige". d oni thng dat i can do is to finish my senior high school as soon as possible, n leave dis hell. kip prayin, may god bless my fam n dos ppl at my surrounding.